


This Is For You

by Laitas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Love Letters, M/M, Unrequited Love, it's slightish sort of on the kenma/kuroo, this is your fault mookie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 10:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2022072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laitas/pseuds/Laitas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenma didn’t really know what to write from here. How do people even write love letters Kenma thought. He leaned back in his chair and thought about how put his feelings into words. It was just so difficult because he’d never felt this way about anyone before. Kenma took a small sigh, looked back at the lined paper, and started to write.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is For You

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of Mookie on tumblr super sad comics of one sided Kenma/Hinata and after the last one I just had to write something based off of it. But I'd definitely read them after the fic not before it. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

After beating a boss on his latest game, Kenma saved and decided to finally start what he’d been avoiding for a while. Kenma sat up on his bed and got up to sit at his desk. It was the night before another practice match with Karasuno and it was the best chance Kenma had.

He reached for a pen but on second thought took a pencil. Mostly likely, he’d mess up a couple times writing the letter. Later he could just write it again in pen.

_Dear Shouyou,_

Kenma didn’t really know what to write from here. How do people even write love letters Kenma thought. He leaned back in his chair and thought about how put his feelings into words. It was just so difficult because he’d never felt this way about anyone before. Kenma took a small sigh, looked back at the lined paper, and started to write.

_I really like being your friend and -_

Nope, that sounds like something a two year old would say Kenma thought as he erased the words. He really wished he could care less about this, or at least just have the confidence to just tell Shouyou face to face. But there was no way in hell that was going to happen.

_Ever since we first met, I've had this feeling._

That’s a better start Kenma thought.

_And I wasn't sure exactly what it was. I just keep thinking about it. How whenever you’re around me I’ve never felt so many emotions at once._

Kenma closed his eyes for a moment and took a small breath in.

_I really like being around you and I always feel like I can’t wait to see you again._

Kenma felt his hands shaking a bit as he wrote

_And at some points I could feel my heart racing in when we were together. I tried to ignore it for a while. But at some point I just realized_

He kind of wanted to stop writing. Kenma could feel himself getting embarrassed by the words he was writing. And he didn't want to think about what Shouyou would think about how he’d react when he read the letter himself.

_I really like you._

Kenma had to get up and walk around until he felt calm enough to re-read exactly what he wrote. It was kind of short, but it was just enough that it didn’t sound like it was written by a lovesick teenager (even though it was).

Finishing up the rest of the letter, Kenma placed the letter in an envelope and wrote on it

_To: Shouyou_  

And sealed it.

Now in bed, Kenma didn’t feel sleepy at all. He just felt really nervous and his mind was full of awful thoughts. What if Shouyou thought was disgusting? What if Shouyou never talked to him again? And made fun of his feelings?

Now Kenma was completely rethinking if he’d ever give the letter.

A buzz when off on Kenma’s nightstand. Picking up his cell phone, he checked the text from Kuroo.

_-You better be asleep right now.-_

Kenma frowned. It was one time in middle school that he decided to marathon a new game before one of their matches. But now almost as a tradition, Kuroo sends a similar message every night before a match.

Maybe he could ask Kuroo about all of this. But Kenma was having a difficult time thinking of a way to phrase it with just going out and saying he was planning on confessing his feelings.

_-No, not yet.-_

It only took a few seconds for him to text back.

_-Are you playing a game? Or are you just too excited to see that orange haired kid.-_

Kenma frowned again. He was being given the perfect opportunity to talk about his problems with his best friend who would definitely be open to Kenma’s feelings. But instead, he felt like it was just too difficult. There were too many words and emotions for it to be in a text. But at the same time, Kenma was desperate to be comforted.

_-Neither. Good Night Kuroo.-_

Kenma decided that he’d just try his best to not even think about the situation. The phone buzzed again.

_-Well I’m sure he’s super excited to see you too. Night Kenma.-_

Kenma re-read the text a few times. The words made Kenma feel a blush coming on. It was so ridiculous. He just really needed to go to sleep.  

 

* * *

 

When the bus finally reached Karasuno, Kenma could feel his legs shaking with all of the anticipation. Getting up, tried to keep as calm face as best as possible. Of which he was pretty sure he was failing at. Seeing as all the way through the drive, he could feel Kuroo next to him constantly looking. And it was a lot more than the casual look over he’d give in a slight interest in what game Kenma was playing. It was more like the look Kuroo gave him when he knew Kenma wasn’t feeling well.

Kenma heard the team talking a bit and a sudden yell paired with frantic waving from Inuoka that made Kenma jump.

“Hey Hinata!”

“Stop yelling on the bus” Kuroo yelled back.

Okay, so first, Kenma would maybe say just say a simple ‘hi’ and that he had to give him something after the match.

Before getting off the bus, Kenma felt a sudden pat on his shoulder from Kuroo. He had a smirk on his face like he knew exactly what Kenma was thinking. But he just pretended to ignore him and moved on.

The whole team was out of the bus, and the members of Karasuno were there chatting about.

“Kenma!” Shouyou’s voice said.

His face was full of the genuine excitement that made Kenma’s heart leap and unthinkingly smile.

“Hi Shoyou” Kenma waved a little and clung his bag strap tighter with the other hand.

Then without warning grabbed Kenma by the shoulders and hugged him. And as soon as Kenma was able to process what was going on the hug was over.

“Are you excited for the match today!”

“Um” Kenma had to force himself out of paralysis. “I guess”

Shouyou’s face had just as big smile as always. “Well, we’ve gotten waaaay better since the last time we played you guys”

Kenma just nodded again and braced both hands on his bag strap. Now’s a good time to tell him about the letter Kenma thought.

“After the match - “

“Hinata!” It was Inuka again. The two instantly got distracted by their energy leaving Kenma there to just observe. It was mostly fine and he convinced himself that it was probably better he didn’t even mention it at all. Shouyou might be expecting it to present or something instead of a letter soaked with gay feelings.

Both teams headed for the gym and Kuroo gathered the team for some cliched pep talk.

“Keep your focus and give it your all.” Kuroo said with a stern face.

Kenma tried his best to pretend these pep talks never happened.

The team made their way to their places on the court when Kuroo asked “So was that?” looking for some feedback.

“I was getting second hand embarrassment from how corny it sounded” Kenma told him. “But at least it was short”

“Alright” Kuroo said with his smirk as always. “I’ll take that as a compliment coming from you”

“Whatever” Kenma said with knitted eyebrows.

 

* * *

 

The match went similarly as it had before. Though Karasuno had managed to win a few sets. Not too much changed, but to be fair, they had improved.  It was nice though, because even though volleyball wasn’t Kenma’s favorite pastime, it was always a great distraction from nerves.

But now the match was over. And Kenma didn’t normally care much if they won or lost but he could care even less right now. Kenma was more nervous than he’d ever been before as he reached for the letter in his bag. He could feel his heart pounding through his ears. Planning on what to do, the entirety of Kenma’s plan was just to basically shove the letter in Shouyou’s face and run away. He really didn’t want to stay around for any awkward moments.

The letter now was his hands and Kenma was still over thinking the whole thing.

“Yo Kenma” . Kuroo’s voice made Kenma drop the letter instantly back in the bag. “It’s time to go”

Kenma put the bag on his arm like he was getting ready to get back on the bus. “I’ll meet you there. I have to do something first”

Kuroo just shrugged and said “Sure, just don’t take too long”

Kenma nodded in reply and wandered off in search of Shouyou. Who he found putting away some of the volleyballs.

“Shouyou” Kenma said a little too quietly for him to hear. Walking a little closer Kenma opened his mouth to call out Shouyou’s name again.

But someone came up to Hinata last minute. The intense setter, Kageyama.

Once again, Kenma felt ability to only observe the two interact. He couldn’t really hear what they were saying or maybe he just didn’t want to. The two started arguing in a really petty way. They look they’re in a lovers quarrel Kenma thought. It made Kenma feel more out of place than normal. Honestly he wanted to leave but their was some sort of determination that kept his legs from moving away.

That was until they started blushing at each other. Like actual lovers. Like they actually were in love with each other.

Kenma couldn’t think anymore. He just had to get away. He just didn’t want to be there anymore. Kenma felt like he was going to cry and he desperately didn’t want to. Kenma kept his head down and pulling out a cellphone looking down to make sure no one asked any questions. He just wanted to go home and pretend none of this ever happen. Like this whole idea was all a bad dream.

Why couldn’t have been a good dream?

Shuffling on to the bus, Kenma sat down in his normal spot next to the window. He continued to stare at his phone and waited for Kuroo to sit down with him. But he never came over. Kenma peeked over the seats listening to the familiar voice behind him and say Kuroo sitting next to Yaku smiling and laughing at who knows what.

Kenma could feel tears coming along and curled up in a ball on his seat. He felt the tears stream down his face. No one had the time for Kenma. Not the team, not Shouyou, and not Shouyou. It made sense though. Kenma wasn’t very interesting, or good and anything, and had a pretty apathetic personality. Why did Kenma even think Shouyou would ever be interested in him if he couldn’t even keep the interest of his friends.

Kenma could feel the bus stopped and luckily was out of tears for the moment. He’d just run away and try to sleep the whole thing away. Kenma briskly walked not even attempting to say bye to the team and headed home.

When he felt like he was far enough, Kenma let himself cry a little more but had to keep it together a little longer just in case his parents asked any questions about how the match went.

Kenma went the motions and ran up to his room. Dropped his bag on the floor and curled up into bed. He pulled over the covers and just tried to think of happier things. Like anything but Hinata and was failing at it badly. Kenma could feel the tears falling down his face again. Quiet tears turned into sniveling and finally evolved to sobbing.

“Kenma?”

It’s was probably the worst possible situation ever. And now Kuroo was here to watch Kenma cry. A living nightmare.

“Go away” Kenma weakly said.

He could feel the bed sink as Kuroo sat next to Kenma who curled up even tighter.

“Not gonna happen” he said softly.

Kenma was still crying but tried to be as quiet as possible about it.

“Why are you even here?” Kenma managed to squeak out.

Kuroo breathed out slowly. “‘Cause I was worried about you”

“And now that I found you like this, I’m definitely not going to leave now.”

The two of them stayed together in silence for a while.

“Whatever it is, if you want to, you can tell me.” Kuroo said quietly.

Kenma had a short debate in his head about if he should just tell Kuroo what was going on. It would probably him feel better Kenma thought. So Kenma whispered everything that was on his mind. He kept it together surprisingly well and kept the tears at a minimum.

“Kenma sit up for a second” Kuroo requested.

“Why?”

“Just do it”

Kenma shifted his body a bit before sitting up all the way. He saw Kuroo in the dim room looking directly at him. It sent a shiver up his spine. Kuroo then wrapped his arms around Kenma waist pulling him in.

“I’m really sorry” Kuroo said honestly.

About what Kenma thought.

“I should’ve noticed something was wrong sooner”

Kenma frowned. There was really no reason Kuroo needed to blame himself. Kenma was only one at fault.

“It’s not your fault I -”

“Nope.” Kuroo raised his voice slightly. “I’m taking full responsibility for this.”

Kuroo soft ran his hand through Kenma’s hair.

“I’ll make you fall in love with me”

Kenma shoved Kuroo out of hugging him. “What?” he practically shouted. Kuroo couldn’t have just said what he thought he just said.

“I said, I’ll make you fall in lov -” Kenma pressed his hand against Kuroo’s mouth. He really didn’t want to hear anymore. It was just way too embarrassing and thoughtless. Kuroo had to be joking.

Kuroo moved Kenma’s hand away.

“I’m being completely serious”

Kenma had mostly been avoiding looking directly at Kuroo but he had to know what kind of face Kuroo was making. Kenma glanced up at Kuroo’s honest face and felt his face flush.

“And I’ll make you forget all about him”

“But why?” The words slipped out before Kenma could really think it through. Still, if Kuroo was serious where was all of this coming from. There was no reason that Kuroo was just wanted Kenma to be in love with him. Right?

Kuroo shrugged. “I guess because I’m in love with you.” he said casually.

Kenma was embarrassed and annoyed on how calm Kuroo was acting. Seeing as how much had to struggle with his own feelings.

“Since when?”

“For a while”. Kuroo looked away for a moment and said “I can’t remember when I figured it out.” He paused and scratched his head. ”Maybe a few years ago”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Kuroo shrugged again. “Never came up.”

Kenma was getting ticked off by Kuroo short answers.

“Then why now?”

Kuroo sighed and laid down on Kenma’s bed.

“What are you doing?”

“Sleeping” Kuroo closed his eyes but he was still facing Kenma’s direction.

Now Kenma was left there awkward looking at the wall across from him and a head full of questions. But Kenma had a feeling Kuroo wasn’t going to cooperate and answer them.

“Lay down with me”

Kenma rolled his eyes. It was kind of hard to see what sort of expression he was making. But Kenma was pretty sure it was an irritating one.

“Fine” he huffed.

As Kenma shifted his body, he had strong urge to just shove Kuroo off his bed. But he wasn’t going to do it though. The sound might wake up his parents so he’d just have to get revenge later.

“Feeling better?” Kuroo asked.

Kenma thought for a moment and was surprised on how less the ache in his heart was.

“Yeah” Kenma answered softly.

“Good” Kenma could hear the smile in Kuroo’s voice. He wasn’t so sure about Kuroo’s whole ‘falling in love’ idea. But Kenma was just feeling a little bit happy with Kuroo around.


End file.
